When our Munna was born, I remember peering into his eyes and falling in love right away. It was a feeling like no other I had felt before. I remember hearing him cry for the first time. It was a tiny squeak and then all quiet. I remember thinking to myself “what an angel”. But now that I look back at that time, I bet he must have quietened to look around and take in his surroundings, the curious George he has always been :D.
The next few days were pure bliss and magical. While I saw other moms exhausted of rocking their “colicky” babies, I couldn’t help but marvel at my little unicorn who would be all peace after having his feed.
Soon we came home. And that’s when the REAL thing began. I remember crying in the car on way back just thinking about how huge of a responsibility it would be taking care of a baby. I guess I had had a bit of intuition about the roller coaster ride that lay ahead of me. Yup it’s been one heck of a ride!
The first 2 months or so went smoothly with all Munna wanting to do was nurse and sleep. I found his nursing schedule to be a bit erratic but everyone kept telling me that things begin to settle down after 3 months.
Came 3rd month and it was if something totally shifted in Munna, like his brain got rewired or something. I would lay him down to sleep and he would wake up right away. Awake or asleep he wanted to be constantly held. There were times when he became immensely difficult to console. I was either nursing him (ALL-THE-TIME) or me and his baba would take turn to rock and walk him to sleep.
This all doesn’t sound too tough but when you are sleep deprived and the baby keeps being demanding with you constantly giving, it can leave you exhausted and drained. I used to look at other people’s babies sleeping couple of hours straight, being happy just by themselves, I thought to myself what are we doing wrong? We even began to doubt my capability to nourish our son.
That’s when it dawned on me, is Munna the kind of baby that Dr Sears describes in his book? It looked like we did have a classic, CLASSIC high needs baby at our hands.
Over the past 2 years I have found myself going back to The Fussy Baby Book and The Attachment Parenting Book over and over again. Even then the first few months of my child’s life, many a times I thought that there was something wrong with my parenting or my child.
It wasn’t until 9 months that Munna started to loosen up a bit but still to this day I sometimes feel that I am sitting on a time bomb that can go off anytime at anything.
Many friends and family kept suggesting that we shouldn’t hold him that much, let him cry it out or he will get spoiled. Even though they had the best intentions at heart, it always left me distressed just for the matter it never made sense. What made sense was attachment which came to us ever so naturally and we see the benefits of it in Munna everyday.
Our Munna has been a gift which unravels in our love and attachment everyday.
Having a high needs baby has been a blessing in more than many ways (how? I will share later :)). These past 2 years have been no less than a roller coaster ride, with all the ups and a many steep dips. It has been tough but I do see the light at the end of the tunnel :).
Do you have a high needs baby? When did you first find out? Would love to know your experiences!
Papatia
We have one too! Very high maintenance lol! May Allah bless our children ,amiin ;)!
Amma Liz
Aren’t they a handful subhan’Allah 😊 yes Ameen to the dua ♡
Papatia
Yup! They are 🙂 masha’Allah.
muslimah
Hm sounds like my daughter as a infant she was high needs turns out she has SPD Sensory processing disorder
Aleeza S
We are dealing with it right now…no outrageous behaviour to get us really worried but then we have worked VERY hard. We held him alot, I was wearing alot. There has always been alot of skin contact. But now that I have weaned him off breastfeeding and not wearing him at all, I see he is not as settled as he used to be.
muslimah
Sounds like might be time for SPD evaluation, as it takes a whole team of people to diagnose .
Aleeza S
I don’t know sister. What made you really concerned in tje first place?
muslimah
My daughter wouldn’t sleep unless she was moving , she slept in my arms or in a baby swing , she never really settled like my older children did when they were babies and she had issues with clothing ,example if the clothes where to soft for her or if the tag bugged her she would over react
Aleeza S
Sounds pretty much like my son. since he was our first, we didn’t have anyone to compare him to and just took everything as it came. But I must admit having read Dr Sears book helped us adjust to the situation alot. I never felt that I needed to take him to the doctor to get him evaluated because I met his needs even though it wore me out terribly! Every day is different from the first but Alhamdulillah but it gets better everyday.
I did sense there was something I needed to work on and I am not boasting here when I say I really did work very very hard. Insha’Allah I will cover that in the coming posts. Till then sister I highly recommend you read the fussy baby book and the attachment parenting book by Dr sears.
Fateema Abdallah
Thank you for having letting me know about your blog sister, I will surely subscribe as it will be helpful for me.
Being a parent is really a roller coaster ride. I don’t know if a high need baby is the same as a baby who loves to get his parent’s attention but my son is definitely of the latter category. Everything he does or achieved he comes and let me know about it. He always makes sure I am around when he plays. He is two years old and I realized that part of him only recently.
People will always tell how to raise your kid but every kid is unique , special and what works for other parents will not automatically work for us. It really takes a lot of time for a mother to decipher her baby’s personality. Like you I also thought for some time I was doing wrong somewhere when I felt helpless and failures. But Alhamdulillah I am learning little by little and it requires a looooooot of patience. ( Note the many “o” in the word “lot” :D)
Aleeza S
It DOES require aloooot of patience sister :)> This is coming from someone who never knew she had it in her :). Yes a mother should never underestimate her own instinct.