When our Munna was born, I remember peering into his eyes and falling in love right away. It was a feeling like no other I had felt before. I remember hearing him cry for the first time. It was a tiny squeak and then all quiet. I remember thinking to myself “what an angel”. But now that I look back at that time, I bet he must have quietened to look around and take in his surroundings, the curious George he has always been :D.
The next few days were pure bliss and magical. While I saw other moms exhausted of rocking their “colicky” babies, I couldn’t help but marvel at my little unicorn who would be all peace after having his feed.
Soon we came home. And that’s when the REAL thing began. I remember crying in the car on way back just thinking about how huge of a responsibility it would be taking care of a baby. I guess I had had a bit of intuition about the roller coaster ride that lay ahead of me. Yup it’s been one heck of a ride!
The first 2 months or so went smoothly with all Munna wanting to do was nurse and sleep. I found his nursing schedule to be a bit erratic but everyone kept telling me that things begin to settle down after 3 months.
Came 3rd month and it was if something totally shifted in Munna, like his brain got rewired or something. I would lay him down to sleep and he would wake up right away. Awake or asleep he wanted to be constantly held. There were times when he became immensely difficult to console. I was either nursing him (ALL-THE-TIME) or me and his baba would take turn to rock and walk him to sleep.
This all doesn’t sound too tough but when you are sleep deprived and the baby keeps being demanding with you constantly giving, it can leave you exhausted and drained. I used to look at other people’s babies sleeping couple of hours straight, being happy just by themselves, I thought to myself what are we doing wrong? We even began to doubt my capability to nourish our son.
That’s when it dawned on me, is Munna the kind of baby that Dr Sears describes in his book? It looked like we did have a classic, CLASSIC high needs baby at our hands.
Over the past 2 years I have found myself going back to The Fussy Baby Book and The Attachment Parenting Book over and over again. Even then the first few months of my child’s life, many a times I thought that there was something wrong with my parenting or my child.
It wasn’t until 9 months that Munna started to loosen up a bit but still to this day I sometimes feel that I am sitting on a time bomb that can go off anytime at anything.
Many friends and family kept suggesting that we shouldn’t hold him that much, let him cry it out or he will get spoiled. Even though they had the best intentions at heart, it always left me distressed just for the matter it never made sense. What made sense was attachment which came to us ever so naturally and we see the benefits of it in Munna everyday.
Our Munna has been a gift which unravels in our love and attachment everyday.
Having a high needs baby has been a blessing in more than many ways (how? I will share later :)). These past 2 years have been no less than a roller coaster ride, with all the ups and a many steep dips. It has been tough but I do see the light at the end of the tunnel :).
Do you have a high needs baby? When did you first find out? Would love to know your experiences!