Our unschooling journey has been a bumpy one. But very enjoyable nevertheless. Hence I decided to jot it down for anyone who wishes to embark on a similar journey.
I always wanted to homeschool my children. What’s unschooling and how I came to it was much much later. For me, homeschooling was synonymous with tarbiyah/parenting. Thus I always was a very devoted mother.
I remember the early years of motherhood with much fondness. Those years were sometimes very rough, some feelings still raw enough to make me tearful again. However, they were still some of the most precious moments of my life.
It was very tough in the beginning trying to figure out the whole mothering gig. But dua and nature were my escape and savior. From the start, I was on an unschooling journey. But it’s something I came to realize much later on.
I started off beautifully with my son.
Being in close synchrony and contact with nature and re-discovering this world through the eyes of my child was a wonderful experience.
I would put him in a sling/baby carrier or a pram and go on long walks. It used to be the most looked-forward-to activity of the day. I would walk (and sometimes jog/run around the block) pointing out the sky, clouds, birds, and trees. In turn, he would gaze back at everything with his little eyes wide open. It was such a pleasure seeing him so curious and awed about the world around him.
When not in my arms, the sling, or the pram, he loved to run after birds, dig around in the mud, play with bugs and splash in water puddles. It was such a joy to see him explore the world around him. I would get down with him and do everything with him. It was cathartic and so healing. He would walk around following me everywhere, trying to do everything I would do.
He would copy everything I would take on.
I would read the Quran, he would pick up a book and pretend to read himself.
We prayed, and he prayed along.
I cooked, and he wanted to help.
One day I wrote out his name for him and he picked it up so well that the next day he wrote it down himself. He was only three then. I was so overjoyed at this accomplishment I felt as if I had a genius prodigy at my hands.
I instantly started daydreaming of all the possibilities.
Maybe we will get him reading all these big books by the time he is five. And imagine how he will become the envy of all our friends and family!
I had always wanted to homeschool my children anyways. So in my enthusiasm, I got all these books to teach him how to write and learn ABCs and 123s. I never thought that would be the beginning of our little nightmare and the end of our joy as a mom and son duo.
I would literally coax the poor little guy to trace a letter or a number every single day, correcting him where he didn’t do it right, rubbing it, and making him do it again.
He just didn’t want to do it.
What’s worst, the promise of a golden star in the end, didn’t help either.
We both ended up being really frustrated.
And the worst part of it all was, the spark of it which was happening all too naturally and spontaneously was gone!
He didn’t want to do anything with a pencil or a book anymore.
I was devastated.
It took me some time to realize the mistake I had made and the damage I had done.
But Alhamdulillah I did realize it.
And thus began our unschooling journey.
It took a lot of “deschooling” on my part to get where I am now.
But it’s been a wonderful journey since then.
I am now the kind of mom who doesn’t worry about her children doing “nothing” because that’s just what they do all day, most of the days. It took me a while to become comfortable with the fact that even in doing “nothing” there is so much benefit for those little minds.
Seeing them so immersed in their play for an hour after hour, it dawned on me their language was play. Their learning was through play in climbing the trees, making tents, just observing ants and making a home for them, and being creative with bits of wood and rocks lying around.
For others, my children might be doing “nothing”. But for me, my children are living the childhood every child is supposed to live.
And in living that childhood, they may be “behind” in their 123s and ABCs. But they are doing just what they are supposed to do: being free of all the pressure to keep up and just being carefree little children.
I am sure there are many questions that might be popping up in the minds of you all. Hence next stop will update you all on our unschooling journey thus far. InshaaAllah
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