I plopped a pile of unfolded laundry onto the bed in guest room. I closed the door behind me as if that would make the pile magically disappear by itself. I hurried back to tackle the dishes in the sink but was met by a very frazzled and teething toddler who needed my attention. As I carried her up the stairs, I was truly annoyed at our decision to rent a two storey house.
I was a mess!
If you looked at me at that moment, you’d think being a homeschooling stay-at-home mom was taking a toll on me. It had been a very long day and I was exhausted down to the core!
No one had forced me into doing what I chose to do. But I was finding it so hard to find peace and contentment!
My hair had all knotted up by staying in a perpetual bun at the back of my head. I would spend my days longing for the night so children would go to bed and I could have a moment by myself. Some days I let myself be so consumed by mundane tasks that I didn’t even find joy in many small joyous moments through out the day.
I tried finding comfort in words of Allah. Going through the supplications before sleep one night, one dua really stood out to me that night.
I was left in awe!
It was as if the words were talking directly to me.
الْحَمْدُ للهِ الَّذِي أَطْعَمَنَا وَسَقَانَا، وَكَفَانَا، وَآوَانَا، فَكَمْ مِمَّنْ لَا كَافِيَ لَهُ وَلَا مُؤْويَ
Praise is to Allah Who has provided us with food and with drink, sufficed us and gave us an abode for how many are there with no provision and no home.
I usually just skim throught the Arabic. But me choosing to read translation that moment was a blessing in itself. These words were a huge wake up call for me. It made me realize the rut of daily routine had made me overlook the many constantly present larger blessings in my life.
It can be hard to be grateful.
Because no matter how hard you try you can’t find joy in all the moments. Most of the times motherhood feels like swimming against the tide.
Some days are just plain hard. Trying to refree kids. Navigating your way through chaos and all the overwhelm.
How would you not feel frustrated when you take the time to prepare their favorite meal only to be met by complaints and whining.
Or when you sit down for a few moments of peace, your toddler is climbing all over you while the older one is shouting for your help in the toilet.
All this drudgery can seriously wear you down and you kind of forget to be grateful.
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Motherhood is tough! It's not just what you see on your social media feed. It's definitely not only smiles and hugs, the proud moments, the family get togethers and outings. . . It's alot of work behind the scenes. The moments no one takes photos of. The exhaustion, frustration and the tears. The moments where you feel you are losing your sanity and you want to run away. . . When you are in the thick of motherhood, it constantly feels you are running uphill or swimming against the tides. The happy and joyful moments can sometimes feel so hard to reach. . . And then there are days where your heart feels so big that it could burst with all the love you feel towards your children. . . Feeling all these whirlwind of emotions is what makes you human. As much everyone around you tells you to "savor and enjoy every moment as they are little only for a little while", there are going to be many moments you want to rip your hair out. . . And that's okay. . . Give yourslef permission to feel what you feel. Look for joy amidst frustrations and daily challenges. Find contentment and peace with just being a mother because it ain't no man's job! 💪 . . Digital print and wooden plaque in 📷 by @zedandq 🧡💛 . . #latenightramblings #idontevenknowwhatIamtalkingabout #emotionalafterkidsareasleep #gratitideforfrustratedmoms #gratefulmuslimmom #muslimmomblogger #muslimsongratitude #findingjoyinlittlethings
But here’s what you can do…
Actively seek out all the moments, things and people to be grateful for.
Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “He who does not thank people, does not thank Allah” (Ahmad, Tirmidhi).
Find something to be grateful for amidst frustrations.
- It’s frustrating when children don’t finish up all the food on the plate but Alhamdulillah you were able to put that food infront of them. In many parts of the world many parents would give anything to put a single morsel of food in their children’s mouths.
- The house is never clean but be grateful you have a protection of roof over your head.
- The dishes never get done, there’s always a pile of laundry to wash, iron and fold but Alhamdulillah for a family to feed and clothe.
- Getting to stay at home with children means getting to witness when they reach all their milestones.
Keep a gratitude journal
For jotting down all those sweet moments. And also to keep sight of all the things we tend to take for granted.
Make a collage of all the things which remind you to be grateful.
It can be collection of photos reminding you of special moments you had together as a family or quotes and sayings which motivate you you to be better version of yourself.
Learn from the lives of the Prophets and all the great women who passed before us.
Make prayer your best companion.
Nothing brings more comfort than asking Allah for strength, wisdom and patience. There are some beautiful supplications and verses in Qur’an which remind us of the many blessings in our lives.
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As moms the drudgery of day to day routines can really wear us down. So much so it can make us lose sight of the many constant blessings in our lives. . After having a long day when you are feeling bogged with washing too many dishes or tackling big piles of laundry, just recite this dua and let it sink in! . . I have jotted down a few point how as mothers we can try to be grateful between life's many challenges. I would love to know what you think. . . Also I will be live in an hour on @ayeina_official #preramadanproductivitycourse productive muslimat group on fb to talk about my journey with gratitude. Head over to their profile to join the group and contribute in to the conversation! . . #gratitudejournalformuslims #gratitudeformotherhood #lifewithatoddler #lifeasasahm #muslimmomtribe #momtreupreneur #adoptgratitude
Switch off from social media.
Anything which gives rise to negativity and feelings of inadequacy should be unfollowed.
Leave everything. Enjoy and savor the moment as it is.
Don’t keep any expectations
Do everything for the sake of Allah. That’s the only key to true contentment.
Make the time to take care of yourself
When you are grateful for all that Allah has blessed you with, you tend to take better care of yourself for yourself and your family.
Connect with other moms. Ask for help.
It helps knowing there are others out there who are going through the same in their lives. Sometimes asking for help and reaching out to others like us helps us to feel grateful again.
Gratitude makes life much more bearable.
No matter how rough it gets, there will always be something to be grateful for.
Allah SWT says in the Qur’an:
If you are grateful, I will give you more. [Qur’an 14:7]
I pray we a come to live a life of fulfillment and abundance with gratitude at the core of our living. Ameen
Here’s a printable I made to actively form a daily habit of gratitude. It also includes a checklist for other important tasks to do daily. Print it out, display it on your fridge or calendar, or just upload it onto your phone. Make it a part of your daily routine to be on the way to living a happy fulfilled life inshaaAllah!
Download your My Day of Being Awesome Planner HERE!